Back in March 2016 my dad was told he was terminally ill with an asbestos related disease, and that he only had 6 months to a year to live. This was devastating news to all of us, especially my dad who was only 73 and who still felt he had had lots of life left to live. Unfortunately in December 2016 dad started to deteriorate quite rapidly and this is when our GP referred us to North Devon Hospice.

Seeing how much dad was deteriorating I decided to give up my life and business and move to Devon to become my dad’s full time carer. Becoming a full time carer for a terminally ill person can be frightening and extremely daunting, and unfortunately with all the pressures the NHS are under we didn’t get the support we needed and felt very much alone. This is when the North Devon Hospice (NDH) stepped in and enabled us to receive weekly visits from the home care practitioner; who offered much needed support / advice to not only my dad but to us also. We had the most wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate lady who built a great rapport with my dad. My dad was such a strong character that he always hid how he was truly feeling to protect us and he wanted us to help make his time left a happy smiley one. As my dad was by this time now bed bound, I was so grateful of these visits as my dad had someone to talk to / open up about his thoughts and fears. Also for us, it was amazing how having that reassuring voice on the end of the phone can make all the difference on those tough days.

My dad and I made a promise to each other that when he knew it was time he would let me know and I promised he wouldn’t be alone. Dad had also always made it clear he wanted to “pass” at the hospice and on the 2nd Feb 2017 I knew it was that time. We arrived about 5pm to be greeted by the incredible staff on the bedded unit. I instantly felt in safe hands, as considering the turmoil we were in I couldn’t believe just how calming and peaceful the hospice was.

The nurses got my dad settled in and then turned their attentions to us, ensuring we had blankets etc so we could stay the night. We were then offered endless amounts of tea and cake. Dad didn’t have the best night and the nurses did a fabulous job of checking on him and keeping him pain free. For me I was so pleased to be able to stay the night next to my dad’s bed, holding his hand and keeping my promise of him not being alone.

The hospice gave us the time and space needed to say our final goodbyes and when we were ready the nurses asked if we wanted to help them get dad ready. Our dad was always hot on his appearance / cleanliness, so with the nurses I helped put a fresh t-shirt on, brushed his hair and cleaned his teeth. I couldn’t believe the care, attention, dignity and respect they gave dad. Its these small touches that can make all the difference to someone grieving and I know dad would have been looking down at us with a smile.

Even when my dad was taken away we were welcome to stay as long as we needed; again being offered endless tea and cake. Although dad was only in the bedded unit for just 18 hours, I will be forever grateful for the NDH for giving dad the chance to fulfil his last wishes to go with dignity, be pain free and to be in an environment that was both peaceful for him and his family.

After Care:

For me personally the biggest reason I have chosen NDH as our charity of choice is the after care I received whilst grieving. I took up the offer of 1-2-1 counselling; even though I personally have not had great experiences of counselling and I was very sceptical but knew I needed help to come to terms with my loss. After the first session my opinion completely changed after being met with such care, compassion and the counsellor having the patience to wait for me to open up. I never felt any pressure and it was all at my pace. It also allowed for years of hidden emotions to re surface and for me to realise I had a lot more to deal with than I originally first thought. My counsellor didn’t turn her back on me and continued / continues to support me nearly 2 years on and for this I will be forever grateful. No words will ever be enough to thank her for making me feel like I always had a safe place to go to with no judgement and nothing but support for me.

NDH have changed my life without even knowing it and for that I am truly grateful, and most of all they ask absolutely nothing in return. This amazing charity could not continue without the support of the community. I only used a very small part of the services they offer and they need continued support / funding to carry on the amazing work they do and the incredible services they offer.

Whilst not easy, I decided to tell my story on here to help our customers / local community who have had no dealings with the hospice to have a better understanding of just how important our hospice is and just how much they need our support to continue.

Here at SCT as a team we have pledged to volunteer at as many events as we can and in 2019 we also plan to hold 2 of our own charity events in order to help raise awareness / funds for the hospice.

Below we have also included a link for anyone wishing to make a donation directly to the hospice and also a link where you can find out more about the great work they do.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read our story.

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